坏习惯

我还以为我可以一直持守下去

但后来 失败了

每次都一样

曾经想要持续的有很多

但偏偏 我不能 守住

当遇到困难 拦阻 压力

一直想逃避 想不理

但存在的 还是存在着

它不会突然间消失 不会突然间解决了

现在能做的 就是 在原点再爬起来

在我不能 在神凡是都能

God's way

God's way of letting you move is really speechless.

Days before I got this calling to send someone home from the bus stop. but I ignored it. My heart will tell me good, you should go ahead and approach; my mind tell me its too busybody.

So last night, I waited for my friend, Jiayi, at CAIS (UNIMAS library) to finish her discussion with Meimei on BM project. I met her at 8.30pm after fail searching for ethernet plugs with a power outlet nearby. (there is just too man poeple there last night, so i gave up)

they are half way to finish, so Jiayi ask me to find some Directing book with simple English for her. I wondered around at level 2 and 1 to find the book. Found a directing, a directors interview, a meaning of signs in cinema and a colour book. heheh. interesting books... hope can finish somehow. XD I went back and they and still discussing. I sat and a nearby table to read the books i borrowed, but I slept on the table. woke up couple of times, not finish. I went to surf at the lower floor.

when we prepare to leave CAIS, its already 11.06pm. We reach the car and someone from the bus stop approach us. The ask for the bus's arrival. Unfortunately, they miss the time. She with her friend is from the East Campus which is a 5 minute drive from the west campus.. It ll be a long way to walk in the late night.

So i drop them at their college. Its a dark drive when you almost reach there cause the boy's college beside it is now empty. So there is no light there. Dark.

On the way back, i thought of this event. I think that God is really doing in his ways to let you follow His ways.

Amazing about last night. It felt like you are spreading the love in your neighborhood. I love it. I love God.

I often prayed and ask how can I show God s love. So... That is IT. That is LOVE!

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not be perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

filmmaker

being a producer is not easy as i thought it is. Its not just being the boss but also the mother of all crew, the counselor, the friend for each. still in the process of learning here.

being reminded to have a strong intention and motive on finishing our group's short film, its a start for me. my attitude before is the nothing-is-too-important kind. and this let me to become careless, irresponsible, and ignorant. and mostly lazy and sometime arrogant.

Now I m a cinematography student. I think that this path is laid out by GOD, prepared with His own hands.

I didn't choose this program myself, its chosen by my cousin. Thank you to her that i had lots fun till now.

I can't.. can't... Ahhh!! Its not easy.. but.. but... I want to change!! I want!! I WANT!!

Its time to change! to really change!! my self discipline, my faithfulness on one thing and the commitment.

All need to be awaken. I remembered how i prayed to god about this issue but.. no action really last long for me.

this time because of being a servant of God for love, a producer and a student to work with assingment dues.

I GOT TO CHANGE!!

to be a new born, you learn from the start

to be a new self, you change your attitude

to be a new student, you discipline your self

to be a new servant, you humble down your ego

to be a new daughter, you regain the faithfulness.