a journey to God : unsatisfied

Happy chinese new year~~

May everyone have a prosperous year with God's goodness all year.

Something i'm not satisfied with my life. I'm a christian. I've been knowing sermons since young, but still struggle, or not even bother, to deal with my life, doing what God likes.

I'm now still a long way to reach the goal that God have given to us.

I'm not satisfied on how i speak, i act, i think.

You may think I'm a perfect girl. but, dear, you are wrong. I'm just a normal girl with habits that need to deal with. a girl with attitude that need to be changed.

I can be emotional until i don't think when i act and end up hurting people with my actions and word. I' m sorry.

“我们必需先在乎我们的神，然后 我们才有办法跟人的人际关系是好的， 是对的。” 江秀琴牧师

this is from Jiang mushi's sermon. I'm alerted.

my relationship handling is an issue. sometimes big. sometimes small.

And i found out something.

when i'm not doing my devotion in the morning,

when i'm not seeking my heavenly father's guidance,

when i'm busy shopping,

when i'm doing my shooting project,

when I'm stress with how could i arrange all my to-do lists on all my assignment,

when I'm not having God in every part of my life,

you'll see me in a bad mood,

you'll see me lifeless,

you'll see me acting very annoyingly,

you'll hear me saying thinks that will hurt,

you'll think again who is this that you are talking with.

when it IS that time, i BEG for you to ask me, 'Lydia, when is the last time you seek the Lord?'

Please remind me, please...

I need your help. I'm not that strong as I seems. I'm not that perfect as i am.

I'm not.

the sermon from 江牧师 is very encouraging. Its always point out what is happening is our life, why are we like this, what is the thing behind that made it like that and how to deal with it.

I encourage you, my friend that read this to listen to her sermons to know more of yourself.

God bless you all.. =) I'll be updating on my journey. my training